It’s Men Who Must Seek Equality

Posted: January 14, 2010 in Women

Generally they are expected to earn, they are expected to earn more if their spouse too is earning, they are expected to rescue a damsel in distress, they must leave their seats and open doors for lady even if the lady in certain cases are seemingly more robust, they must do all the physically strenuous works, they must not exhibit fear in any case, they must always be courageous, else their manliness will be questioned. All this just to maintain their masculine superiority and for this vanity (or you may call it folly…whatever appeals you) they burden themselves with too much responsibilities and toil. And what does a woman do? She let him believe what he believes and enjoy all the perks and still blame him for her suppression!

Why should a lady tax herself to earn big when she can simply charm a rich man into marrying her? When you are getting comforts just by being labelled as weak, it’s foolish to forego them just to prove your strength. I agree, in crowded places like public transport with those sex predators on prowl, it is fine to be offered seat. But with an elderly or handicap person around is there any scope of confusion on whether a guy must leave his seat or you too are equally capable of offering the same? When somebody is getting unruly with you or somebody else, is it just man’s obligation to raise alarm and resist such act? Men too are human. They too have their fears. So learn to fight your own fight.

Am I unaware of age-long suppression that women have been put through and in many spheres they still are subjected to regression? No. What I am conveying is that they can’t expect only men to stand for them. Escaping participation in seeking their rightful place conveys their choice to carry on the same path that they are treading all this while. Women must raise expectations from themselves and those who can fight must fight for themselves and for their fellow women folk. Use your capabilities to make other women find their strength, to fight for their rightful place and sever their suppressive past.

Whole psyche needs overhauling, not only of men but more of women. Femininity isn’t a sign of weakness. Adaptability and compassion are under-rated virtue. As Darwin says “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, or the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change”. We don’t have to become like men to feel stronger as aggression can be countered but not compassion.

Men must certainly be expected to know that women aren’t just object of their desire, or to be idolized or victimized. Love them, respect them or despise them but don’t try to take away their right to be an individual, an individual who has the right to define her individuality and choose her own path.

  1. anjul2307 says:

    What women today need is confidence and faith in themselves to know that they are equals and that’s where men can help women in helping them instill this belief.
    The onus to be treated as equals lie on the individual.
    I wish people would truly understand the meaning of Feminism. It isn’t confined to the change in the perspective of men. It is also about a change in the perception of women towards themselves.

  2. AdityaNayak says:

    I agree with you completely on how women have to take the initiative and step out.

    However, I think that measuring women against men is thinking small. Men should not be a benchmark for women to come up to, if at all they are below us( I dont really believe that, I think they are superior to men).

    • Rijuta says:

      Women and men have distinctive traits so comparing them doesn’t come into question :)May be statements where I expressed my concern regarding women trying to imitate men made you interpret that I way. On the contrary I highlighted the opposite as this statement from the article goes “We don’t have to become like men to feel stronger as aggression can be countered but not compassion”.
      I in fact wish that females see the strength in femininity rather than pretending to be like men 🙂
      Won’t say that women are superior as this in it self will diminish one of the greatest virtue and strength of women: MODESTY 😀

  3. Rijuta says:

    I don’t know what surprised you as this is how I have always felt:)
    Earlier I used to wonder why don’t some women stand for themselves. But with time I’ve realized that due to long held social beliefs and suppression there’s a section who still must be instilled with confidence. But yes, this again isn’t a fight that man has to fight. They can support the cause by changing their psyche towards women and the whole social boundaries for women but it’s women who has to come out of their shell.

  4. Sagar Yadav says:

    This is the first time that I read what I think in my heart and soul. Exactly if I have to express myself over the same issue.

    And you surprise me Rijuta.

    First thing to be very frank, the mentality of common Indian Women is not in you – the mentality of viewing oneself as unequal, either above or below somebody in a hierarchy.

    Second thing, to place the onus of equality on women and respect on men 🙂 Women must earn their equality just like men must earn their respect.

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